Could Have Been's
by gr8 gal
Summary: The crew are shown what would have happened to them if they hadn't have made the decisions they made. Kind of AU but based in real U looking on. Oh and Q is thrown in the mix for good measure!


The ship lurched beneath their feet as the alien ships weapons hit them again and again.

"Shield's down to 54" Tuvok managed to shout over the whining of the ship.

"Aim for their weapons" Ordered Captain Janeway being thrown from her chair nearly as another strike hit. "Tom evasive manuvers!" Tom's fingers flew over the helm controls like fire. Using one hand to type and the other hand kept a white grip on his chair.

"Direct hit to our weapons. Shields down to 40." Shouted Tuvok again. "37" Hit came after hit, only a mere second gap between each blow.

"B'Elanna have you got them warp engines online yet!" Janeway asked through the open comm signal to engineering.

"32"

"**Almost there Captain, just two more minutes" Answered B'Elanna.**

"24"

"I need them quicker, we haven't got 2 minutes"

"19"

"Tom jump to warp as soon as we have them" Instructed Janeway pulling herself back into her chair from where she'd landed on the floor whilst talking to B'Elanna.

"12"

"**Almost…Got them…."**

"7"

"**Nearly…"**

"4"

"**There!"**

Voyager flew forward in a flash. There was a collective sigh of relief as the alien ship became smaller and smaller on the view screen.

"That…was close" Breathed Tom Paris wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Too close" Said Harry from the floor on the other side of the bridge where he had been flung too.

"Report" Said Kathryn brushing the hair that had fell out of her stern bun behind one ear so she could see. It just fell out again though.

"Damage to all systems. Weapons, replicators, transporters and turbolifts offline. Shields at 3. Hull breach on deck 6. Minor injuries reported on all decks." Informed Tuvok with an expressionless tone.

"Ok. B'Elanna get a team working on them turbolifts, that way we can get around more easily. Harry go down to engineering and help get them shields back to peak efficiency. Tom get to sickbay and help the doctor and Kes. Tuvok put a force field around the hull breach and then evacuate deck 6."

"Yes Captain." came the chorus of responses as they all got up and went to there places. Most going into the Jefferies tube behind operations.

"Keep me posted. Commander you have the bridge I'll be in my ready room." She began to walk off when a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Captain, I think you should get to sick bay first" Chakotay said. He raised his hand to her cheek resting his fingertips to a nasty gash on her cheek. She gasped in pain at his touch. She hadn't even noticed. He pulled his hand away and blood glistened on his fingertips.

"No, it's nothing. I'm fine. There are more important things to do first, like figuring out a way to hide from our new best friends" she set off walking into her ready room whilst she spoke. The door slid shut behind her. Thinking she was alone she brought a hand up to her cheek to investigate the damage properly.

"You're not really fine are you?" Asked Chakotay. Kathryn jumped and spun round to face him.

"Jeez Chakotay! What the hell are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack!" shrieked Kathryn.

"It doesn't matter if I was, it's not like you'd take notice of it" accused Chakotay leaning up from the wall where he stood.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Demanded Kathryn placing her hands on her hips and going into battle mode.

"_Here we go. It's now or never" _thought Chakotay. "You never take care of your self. You just keep going and going, never resting. Helping everyone with everything. Doing stuff that isn't really your job to do."

"I can't sit with my feet up Commander whilst my crew works them selves to death!"

"No and that's not what I'm suggesting you do either"

"Well it bloody well sounded that way"

"What I'm suggesting is that once in a while, you actually stop and sit down for something to eat rather than living off coffee. Maybe you could even push yourself to get more than four hours sleep a night before you're off crawling through Jeffries tubes again."

"It's my fault were stuck in this damned quadrant. I'm the one that ordered our only way home destroyed. What right do I have to go to sickbay when there's a big bloody hole in the ship. If you'd have been in charge we would have gone home. Everything would have been fine. This is my entire fault!"

"Nothing is your fault!"

"Yes it is!"

"No shut up and listen Kathryn. You did what anyone would have done in that situation. Any decent person that is, and I wasn't back then. If it had been me, you're right. I would have used it to get back home, I would have also done a lot of other things differently but not for the better. I know it's been stressful this month, even I've felt like smashing someone's face in once or twice." He was shouting louder and louder as he went on. "I know we seem to be never endingly repairing voyager but that's only because voyager's captain is clever enough to make us survive! If you don't start looking after yourself then your not gonna be able to run voyager no more, then where are we gonna be. Voyager needs a healthy captain Kathryn. The crew needs a healthy captain. If your not gonna do this for yourself at least do it for them." Kathryn stood frozen in shock; she'd never seen Chakotay react like that to anything. It shocked her. She looked so vulnerable and small stood there staring up at him with big watery blue eyes. He'd never seen her like this before. He never took his eyes from hers. Placing his hands on top of hers and bringing them up between them, he held them gently. Caressing the back's with his thumbs. Feeling every grove and line, she had such smooth skin. "They need you Kathryn,… I need you"

"I'm sorry" It was so quiet Chakotay barely heard it. If it weren't for the fact that he now stood barely inches from her he suspected he wouldn't of. The tears began to flow quickly then. Streams down her cheeks. He pulled her into his chest and held her whilst her body shock through its sobbing. "I'm…so sorry"

"Shhh…its ok." He soothed kissing her hair. They stayed like that for a few minutes, not saying anything; both taking strength from each others contact.

"Well isn't this cosy" taunted Q. Kathryn pulled herself from Chakotay's embrace embarrassed and angry because of Q's rude entrance.

"Commander Chakotay to security, intruder alert; the captain's ready room now" said Chakotay slapping his comm badge.

"Its lovely to see you too Chuckles. Now hand over my Kathy before I start to get jealous." Chimed Q sitting up from where he was perched on her desk. "I never thought of you as the type to play with my emotions"

"Q!" Said Kathryn angrily. "What are you here for?"

"You called me here, and by the look of the state of this heap of metal it was just in the nick of time" Q said looking round the messed up office, with its smashed vases and its wires hanging out of walls. He pulled one sending a spark of fizzes spinning across the room.

"I didn't call you here" Corrected Kathryn "And unless you are completely stupid you can see we are rather busy trying to fix this 'heap of metal' than join in your little games Q." Tuvok and his security team entered armed with phaser's drawn.

"Wow its suddenly got crowded in here" Moaned Q, "shall we go somewhere else." Before they could object Q clicked his fingers and Tuvok, Kathryn, Chakotay and Q disappeared.

They reappeared in the meeting room sat in there usual seats. They were also joined by Kes, Neelix, B'Elanna, Tom, the doctor and Harry.

"Return me to sickbay this instance are you trying to kill my program" Ordered the doctor standing up from where he sat and marching round to Q.

"Oh stop your whining, I've made you real for now so sit back down in your chair and be a good real boy" Replied Q folding his arms across his chest. The doctor smiled brightly.

"You mean I'm real, not a holo-program." Smiled the doctor feeling his body all over to see if he was any different.

"Yes and it can be easily changed back now sit Pinocchio." Instructed Q rolling his eyes. "Ok. Hello everyone, long time no see…"

"Q what do you want with us?" Interrupted Kathryn. She tried to stand but Q clicked his finger and restraints folded around her arms and legs. A gag was also placed in her mouth.

"Just because I love you doesn't mean you get special treatment Kathy. Now moving on swiftly. The reason I am here is because it seems to me that the lot of you do not realise how lucky you are. Well as lucky as you can be for a species like yourselves. Which in my opinion is pretty unlucky to start with but…I'm rambling. Let's get back on track. I am here to show you what you all want to know. What you've all been thinking since you came here and in some cases has been holding you back." Q stopped for effect and to make sure that everyone was still with him so far. Kathy was struggling helplessly with her bonds and biting harshly on the gag. "I am going to show you what would have happened" Nobody spoke all confused by what he meant.

"When?" Asked Tom scratching his head.

"Oh great, your brains really are punier than I thought. Ok, I'm going to show you your alternative universe selves. Show you a part of their lives. What would have happen to you if your life had travelled the same path as theirs? Are you ready?" Q let a large screen drop down at the end of the table and took a seat next to Kathryn. "Ok, firstly this is what would have happened to you all if the care taker had never had brought you here at all." The lights went dark and the screen filled up with a countdown like they used to do on the old movies that Tom sometimes showed on the holodeck.

Tom's face filled the screen he was in a small grey room repeatedly throwing a ball against the wall opposite. A large sigh escaped his bruised lips. His face was swollen and cut. It looked like he'd been in a fight. He just sat there for the next few minutes. Silently staring then began throwing the ball again. There was a bang at the door. A bang he recognised as the familiar sound of the jail cell door opening. An officer stepped inside.

"Good morning, Mr Paris, who are you planning to beat up today?" Asked the officer sarcastically. The officer was short and fat. His plump fingers pulled a pair of hand cuffs from his belt and attached them around Tom's wrists in front of him.

"I didn't touch those guys! It was them who jumped me!" Argued Tom. The officer just laughed and pushed him onwards. He trudged slowly out the cell followed by the officer. They went down a long corridor that was lined with doors either side. More cells. More prisoners.

"I suppose you'll be telling me next that Admiral Janeway is really here to see you because you're having a secret love affair" Teased the officer. He took him into a large room. Empty apart from a table in the centre and camera's dotted around the walls. He was sat down on one side of the table and then left alone in the silence. He sat there for a few minutes waiting for his visitor to arrive. The only sound was the focusing of the cameras and the light drumming of his fingers on the table top. She entered after about two minutes. Tom smiled when she entered. His eye's running her up and down. She smiled in return, giving him a hug before sitting into her chair.

"Have you been eating admiral?" Joked Tom.

"If only it were that simple" Laughed Kathryn. She placed both her hands onto her large swollen belly rubbing it gently.

"How long you got left now?"

"About six more weeks, give or take a few days. Then there are no more chasing bad guys for me. The only thing I'll be chasing is dirty nappies."

"Well if you're looking for a baby sitter, I'm sure I won't be doing anything" Toms comment was said with a smile but it did not reach his eyes. He looked down at his hands. His fingers picking frustrated at his nails. "Have you managed to speak with my father yet?"

"I've had a few words yes, but he's reluctant to discuss"

"…Why am I not surprised? You know if this was anyone else he wouldn't sleep till it was sorted but me…."

"He's been busy Tom, with the cardassian capture of the Marquis; he's trying his hardest to get them out of there."

"I know, I know….It just sometimes feels like he doesn't care. I mean I shouldn't even be in here. All I did was try to defend us and I get locked up for it."

"I know its not right Tom, that's why I'm trying all I can to get you out. What you did was very brave Tom. I dread to think what would have happened to us if you hadn't have done that. I just wish they start listening rather then just saying 'You were delusional' or 'it's because of your hormones'. It's not fair, not fair at all."

They were silent a minute both lost in thought. Each of what the other had said. Each thinking of the night they spoke.

"How many of the Marquis have you got?" Asked Tom changing subject.

"I'm not entirely sure. It was 42 last time I checked. I'm not really supposed to get involved. They say it's too dangerous in my current state. I tell them I agree then just have a peek when there not looking."

"You rebel! You better be careful or you might get a slapped wrist" Laughed Tom.

"I should do anyway" The second comment of the conversation that was said as a joke but had an underlying seriousness to it.

"Listen Admiral, the capture of that half klingon woman wasn't your fault. You couldn't have done anything."

"You didn't hear her scream's, see what they did to her…It was barbaric. I tried to soothe her after but what do you say, there was so much blood. She knew, as much as I did. I couldn't help but think that I was going to be next. That they were going to do that to me. That they were going to…kill my…my baby. But all I could do was hope…prey that they left me alone and then…well you know what happened from then. Your old pal Captain Chakotay turned up."

"He has quite a knack for timing doesn't he? I suppose that's why he never liked me. He always caught me when I was up to something."

"When aren't you up to something Paris?"

They shared a smile.

"Did you manage to get the captain out?"

"Not yet, we've heard a rumour he's dead, but were still trying. He doesn't deserve to be in there, no-one does. He was a good man."

There was quietness in the briefing room a deadly silence. The captain had stopped struggling against her bonds and the doctor had stopped watching his slowly growing nose. Well it wasn't every day that you hear about your own death. Kes had a tear in her eyes and Tom had hold of B'Elanna's hand. Probably more for his own comfort than hers, to reassure him that she was still there. Safe. It was no doubt that she was the woman they had been talking about.

"Stop this Q and leave us alone! You've proved your point" Chakotay demanded solemnly. He never raised his voice but it was so full of power any normal human being would have fled. But Q wasn't any normal human being; he was Q.

"I would but I don't think I have got my point across. I know the other questions that you want to know. What would have happened if the Marquis were in command, now this story, this one really does bring it home just how lucky you really are."

A battered and burned voyager came into view on the screen. The hull was full of dents and fractures. It's name that was painted above its roof only one month before barely visible. The blue lights of the warp engines were off at the back of the ship and to an outsider Voyager looked adrift. Motionless and lifeless. But inside it was a whole different story.

"Harry get the comm system back on line quickly. Tuvok I need a damage report on all decks. I want to know what's happened, and quickly." Tuvok began to list repairs; the captain went down to the unmanned helm and began trying to get thrusters back on line at the least.

"Captain, step away from the station!"

"What?!" Kathryn turned round to the owner of the voice only to stare down the barrel of a phaser. Upon the other end was the large hand of the Marquis Captain Chakotay.

"Now!" Reluctantly she stepped back from the console and stood up to her full height keeping her eyes locked with Chakotay's.

"Take them to the brig" ordered Chakotay.

"Half of its offline, they won't all fit" Said another man at Chakotay's far right moving though the information swiftly on his console. It was Commander Ayala. Kathryn had read his file along with the rest of the Marquis before they left for the mission.

"Well put the non-senior staff in Cargo bay 1, I want guards on both rooms round the clock. If anyone disobeys shoot them" Continued Chakotay. Kathryn forced back a gulp. This man was harsh and viscous and the life of her crew was in his decision. It did not look good. The marquis surrounded them and began pushing them roughly forward off the bridge. The last thing they heard before the door closed was Chakotay's orders on his new ship. "B'Elanna get me access to all systems"

x-x-x-x-x-x

They sat in the brig for the next five hours. The only movement was when a Marquis entered to access the Jeffries tubes or to add another Starfleet crewmember to their cell. So far the single cell held Captain Janeway, Commander Tuvok, Ensign Kim, Commander Cavit and Doctor Fitzgerald. They were not all senior staff but Kathryn suppose they were the ones they wanted locked up safest. They had sat in the dark for the first four hours then lights were obviously fixed. Although in long term a fixed ship would be better but it also meant that the Marquis was getting control of more and more of voyager systems. A worrying thought.

"I can't believe these terrorists. What right do they have to take are ship for their own and lock us up like criminals. They're the criminals! They should be in here!" roared Commander Cavit pacing up and down the cell. As much as Kathryn agreed all his shouting was doing was aggravating the situation and adding to her already mighty headache.

"Commander!" she warned again.

"Don't tell me you still want to keep an alliance with him. I told you not to trust that jerk in the first place and look where we ended up." Janeway jumped up to tell him he was way out of line but was interrupted before she could.

"Commander Cavit I believe. What an outspoken crew you have Captain?" teased Captain Chakotay. He strode purposefully up to their cell with two of his security guards armed behind him. He entered codes into the locking system and lowered the force field. "This way please Captain" he instructed. Kathryn stepped out of the cell with one last glare at Cavit which told him they would speak later. "Tell me are all your crew so accommodating?" Asked Chakotay as soon as they left the brig.

"It's not my crew that has people locked up at this moment Chakotay" Bit back Kathryn harshly. Although she agreed with his feelings towards Cavit she wasn't going to let him know. Roughly he grabbed her elbow turning her sideways, his left hand came up to the side of her neck and ripped the four pips from there place.

"That's Captain Chakotay, Kathryn" Her anger flared up to boiling point. She ripped her arm from his grip and was about to reply when he continued walking pushing her forwards.

"What are you going to do with us?" asked Kathryn when they arrived in her ready room. Chakotay had forced her to sit none too gently in the chair in front of her desk and then sat upon the desk himself to try and intimidate her. She was aware of the two Marquis Security officers that flanked either door and knew that a surprise attack on Chakotay would not be of any use.

"Depends," answered Chakotay honestly. Kathryn waited for him to continue but he remained silent.

"Is that it? That's all you're going to say?" asked Kathryn incredulously. "Is this part of the plan or haven't you got one past this point?"

"Oh there's a plan alright," smiled Chakotay. "In fact there is more than one to choose from. But the decision of which one we follow is completely yours Kathryn."

"How nice of you," smiled Kathryn sarcastically.

"Call it a thank you if you like; for a brand new ship. After all, it will be the last decision you make for yourself in a long time." Kathryn's only reply was a death glare. She knew that neither choice given would be one she would like to take.

"You can either give me your command codes and you and your crew will be let free on a nice M-Class planet, maybe even allowed to remain on board. That's the more co-operative ones anyway," explained Chakotay smiling a smile that was to clearly tell Janeway that's the option she should go for.

"Or?" asked Janeway.

"Or you're crew will be let loose on the next M-Class planet and I will force the command codes from you." He declared. He crouched down before her so there faces were at height level.

"There's not much of a difference really is there?" she pointed out.

"So what's it to be? You going to tell me?" teased Chakotay running a patronizing hand through her hair and over a shoulder.

"Never!" spat Janeway.

"Very well," sighed Chakotay standing up and walking to the other side of the room. "Ayala!"

Janeway heard the clumping of heavy booted feet moving closer and closer behind her. The look on Chakotay's face dared her to look round to see but she refused to allow him to see her fear. Before she knew it though a blow to the back of her head sent her sprawling to the floor.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Back in the cargo bay the crew were being pushed forward like cattle in groups of ten.

"I said move it now!" bawled Seska down Lieutenant Carey's ear. Joe was stumbling forward as fast as his broken leg would allow him with the aid of the walls. Ensign Wildman moved in to help him but was pulled back roughly by Jetal. "On his own!" Joe pressed on determinedly but when he reached the corridor to cross to the transporter room he no longer had a wall to support him he collapsed to the floor. "You weren't quick enough. Tough luck Starfleet!" she swung her weapon up to point at him.

"No!" protested Samantha running to push the weapon out of aim. Seska pressed the trigger with a cackle and killed them both instantly.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"You heard what Chakotay said Seska," ordered B'Elanna angrily. "No more unnecessary killing. That woman you shot was pregnant for god's sake!"

"Well she should have thought of that before she jumped in front of me then," drawled Seska irritated. "Poor kid would have been a bastard anyway! I did it a favour!"

"You know, you're sometimes as bad as the cardassians!" spat B'Elanna truly astounded.

"You have no idea!" laughed Seska leaving a confused and infuriated B'Elanna standing in an empty corridor as the brig doors shut in her face. Taking a calming breath she entered herself.

"What the hell have you done to her?" asked Tom angry using strips of his uniform jacket to try and bandage up the bleeding wounds of Janeway's body. The Marquis had just dumped her unceremoniously in the crowded cell.

"She wouldn't answer our questions," shrugged Chakotay, refusing to look away from Commander Cavit whose previous shouting had gone considerably quiet. "So I guess you're our next in line Commander."

"What do you want to know?" he asked nervously. His pale face look down upon the sight before him.

"Command codes," poke Chakotay.

"And if I don't answer?"

"Then you end up like her?"

"If I do?"

"We let you join the rest of your crew on the planet we're orbiting," explained Chakotay. Seska and Ayala pulled him out of the cell whilst B'Elanna aimed her gun at the rest daring them to try and escape. "Don't make the same mistake as your Captain!"

"Alright…I'll tell you," agreed Cavit pulling away from his restraint harshly.

"What?! You Jerk!!" shouted Paris.

"Shut your mouth Paris! Before you don't have one!" scowled B'Elanna. "You're in debate whether you're going to live another hour as it is. Don't give me an excuse."

"Yeah, like your friend over here," sneered Seska. She used her foot to role the Butchered dead body of Tuvok into view.

"Q stop this now!" demanded Chakotay. "I think your point has been completely understood."

Q look put over the sombre faces of the room. Several members of them had tears down their cheeks, the others look close. Apart from Tuvok of course.

"Yes I quite agree," nodded Q standing up again and walking round to stand before the blank screen. "Now I suggest you all stop concentrating on what could have been and start living what you have here. It's much better for you all."

With that Q clicked his fingers and disappeared, taking all traces of his visit with him. Returning them all to their previous destinations and the security back to their posts.

Kathryn stared up at Chakotay wide eyed.

"Kathryn I'm so sorry! I would never do that to you! Ever! I swear!" apologised Chakotay wrapping her trembling body to him. "I'm so sorry!"

"Don't Chakotay! Please don't apologise! It should be me apologising! I promised I would never let them send you to the cardassian's and they did! I let you down! In the worse way imaginable!" returned Kathryn equally apologetic. Chakotay chuckled quietly causing her to look up at him curiously.

"Look at us," explained Chakotay. "We're as bad as each other. Let's listen to Q for once. Lets live for now, not on the could have been's or the should have been's. Just today. Just as one crew, one family trying to get home."

"Yes," agreed Kathryn "We will" she pulled herself from his embrace and held out her arm for him to take. "Now what was that meal you we're talking about?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Q smiled happily as the crew continued on there journey home with a new sense of joy that there lives were actually pretty good considering their distance from home. Off he went to the next troubled species in need of his assistance. After all, it's all in a day's work for a Q!


End file.
